The Cusp of Positive Change

We are often unaware of how powerfully we have been creating with our thoughts.  We are dreaming and talking and expanding and it is all feeling good.  At some point, this new energetic thought world will begin to manifest.  If we are holding on tight to some version of our current reality and have outgrown it, sometimes things will appear to fall apart in the physical.

During my travels of the last several months, I found myself in so many joyful expansions.  Upon returning to my remote mountain home, nothing seemed to fit anymore.  So instead of staying in a reality I had clearly outgrown, I left.  I left to take time to integrate all of the experiences of the last several months.  Finding myself in a city once more, I found great comfort in the sound of the train, grocery shopping in big stores and listening to helicopters and planes fly overhead.  Everything from the past several years of my life seemed to float around me like nuclear fallout.  I was simply at a loss as to where to go and what to do next.  In these kinds of times of major transition, I meditate, write and spend alot of time in nature.  I try to just be with the change.

I was talking to a friend about all the changes in my life and how I seemed to unclear about which path to follow, where to go and what to focus my energies on next.  She told me how much she believed in affirmative prayer and sent me her prayer.

"Even though I don't know where I'm going this instant I know and have faith in my path and finding my flow.  I know I am on my way to reaching extreme happiness."

To add to the intensity of this week, I was attempting to assist others who were going through their own crises.  I was listening to someone in a complete breakdown tell me, "this bad thing could happen and that bad thing could happen. . . "  I said quite honestly, "you are in so much fear that I am not sure I can help."  We finally broke through her fear when she realized that her fears were about another person ruining their lives doing drugs but in fact her own drug use had brought her to a much deeper state of spiritual openness previously in her own life.  She suddenly shifted and began to laugh.  She said, "I cannot really control him and there is really nothing wrong with what he is doing.  I guess I have only one choice and that is to be centered within myself."  I laughed back and said, "well there is really only one choice ever and that is the choice about whether or not we are going to be centered within ourselves or not - no matter what someone else is doing."

My week got more intense.  My son called me 10 days into his 47 day Europe tour and said he was having a hard time centering himself realizing that he had to center himself in travel.  That was hilarious.  I said, "well traveling seems to be the ONLY place I can center myself - use some EFT."

I questioned my guides about the anxiety of all this transition.  They showed me the matrix one morning.  We create these big energetic thought matrixes about our expanded future and then our ego matrix tries to hold us into the existing form of our current life.

For me, it is a set of obligations.  The thoughts go like something like this: "I can't travel all the time because I still have one kid who has a year left in high school.  I don't know if I can travel with 2 little dogs.  Everyone needs a home and my home cannot be the road.  I have obligations and responsibilities.  You and Pete knew that you would be traveling around the country in about a year, can't you just put this off for a year?  Why can't you be happy planting carrots and living in the woods?"

So just when I thought I was finding my center in this huge swirling energy field of change, I was walking down a steep river bank and my knee popped.  It felt a little strange but no big deal.  Within 6 hours it was completely swollen and frozen.  I have lost count of how many knee injuries I have had.  They are all about the ego feeling cut off at the knees as it loses its structure in the midst of change.  So today I limped into a health food store to get some Kava Kava.  My guides told me to pick up some Kava Kava.  I googled it and it is a quick relief for anxiety.  Within 15 minutes of taking it, I was walking much better.

So we have these 2 energetic structures - our ego matrix and the larger matrix of what we are attempting to grow into.  All illness, depression, anxiety and knee injuries are about our resistance and fear.  We can choose faith and trust at any moment.  When our immediate world falls apart, it is just the larger part of us knowing that something much, much better is coming into creation for us and that is the cusp of change.

The language of limitation is this "OR" that.  The language of energy (the language of spirit) is this "AND" that.  I can have a home for my daughter AND I can travel.  I can travel AND I can have a home.  I can be alone AND I can have a husband.  I can not know where I want to go AND I can know where I do want to go at the same time.  I can be worried about someone AND trust that they are on their path.  I can feel an obligation to take care of someone AND know that they are being taken care of.  A tree is dead AND alive at the same time.  I can feel anxiety AND trust at the same time.  I can have another knee injury AND know that it is all just fine.  I can feel lost AND know that I am found.  We are One with the all of the Infinite and it is all inclusive - there is no "OR" it is all "AND" - it is all inclusive.   Blessings

The Joy of Mud

I was listening to a you tube video this morning about how joy sometimes shows up in the strangest places and when it is most unexpected.  I found myself this afternoon watching a little boy with a red  cast on his arm playing in mud puddles.  My first thought was that he was going to get his cast wet and he shouldn't be playing in mud puddles.  He didn't have a care in the world.  He had a little plastic container and was scooping water from one mud puddle and putting it in another mud puddle.  What a pointless activity is that?  He was in absolute joy and was using his arm without the cast.

Soon he stopped doing that and got out a metal spatula.  He began to scoop the mud and play in it.  His friend joined him and they began making mud pies.  They found a little table where they set forth a picnic.  They pretended to eat their mud pies in the most joyous fashion.  Then his mom called and said it was time to go.  Oh - so much joy in a little mud!

One of my favorite song videos of all time: 

Sigur Ross - Hoppipolla     

The translation:

smiling
spinning in circles
holding hands
the world is a blur
except when you're standing
dripping wet
completely soaked
no rubber boots
running inside of us
wants to burst out of the shell

wind in
and the smell of your hair
I hit as hard as i can
with my nose
jumping into a puddle
wearing no boots
completely soaked (dripping wet)
wearing no boots

and I get a nosebleed
but I'll always stand up again

and I get a nosebleed
but I'll always stand up again

The Ocean, Another Cruise and House Fires

I know this sounds like a strange title for a post.  This is a picture I took from the ship on the Caribbean trip.  It seemed like when I got home, I didn't have the time that I wanted to fully integrate the all encompassing experience of this trip and all the islands we visited.  Every day on the ocean was a new day with new adventures, new places to visit and new things to eat.  After every one of my trips, I am just ready for the next one.  My human personality says, "ah - that was great.  There won't be anything that good again."  The nature of the human spirit is to continue to explore and expand so there will always be more trips.  I was thinking of another cruise next winter.

After I got home, one of my friends lost most of her stored possessions in a house fire.  I am not very attached to my stuff, but have never watched a fire.  My friend spent some time with me and I was trying to be a good listener to her as she processed about her losses.  She stayed at my house and was making a list of everything she lost in the fire for the insurance company.  As she sat in my kitchen writing, every time I opened a cupboard, it reminded her of another item she had lost.  She said, "oh - I had a vacuum sealer that I will never get to use - I had molasses - I had a pasta maker that I only used once - all of my honey is gone - so is my nutmeg and my cinnamon.  All the baking dishes I bought for my daughter will never get to be enjoyed.  My towels are gone.  My books are gone."

One morning she got up and had been dreaming about her books that burned up.  She said, "my books are not gone, they are just now in my dreams."

A few days after she left, I was haunted by her statement, "I will never get to enjoy this thing that I lost."

I don't have a bucket list.  I have done pretty much everything that I wanted to do with my life.  My primary focus is to actually get a book done, published and start teaching workshops.  I want to travel more and camp more and explore the planet more, but no one place stands out as the place I have to see.

I realized that I did have one major thing that I was putting off.  I wanted to take all of my kids on a cruise.  Every time I come back from a cruise, they want to know what it is like.  There is just no way that I can explain the magic of waking up on the ocean, watching the view change constantly, eating amazing food, exploring the ship and visiting interesting ports.  I cannot explain what it is like to float in a hot tub on a ship while looking at Juneau, Alaska.  I cannot explain what it is like to wake up every morning knowing that you are in a completely different location than you were when you went to bed.  I thought in a couple of years I would take all my kids on a cruise.

My friends haunting words came back to me.  "If I would have only known that all of this stuff was going to get burned up, I would have enjoyed it while I had it."  It suddenly dawned on me that all of my children were going to be in Montana in August.  As I write this, one is in Ecuador, one in Austria and one in the U.S.  I suddenly became aware of the fact that I did not have to put my dreams on hold.  Within 2 days I had booked all of us on an Alaskan cruise. 

A week later, I was driving my father-in-law to an appointment.  He began to reflect on his entire life and how quickly the decades had passed through his life.  I finally said to him, "I don't care how old you are, we all still have only today, no matter what our age is."  He looked at me kind of funny and said, "well I suppose you are right."

The ocean is infinite.  It never sleeps.  It is constantly moving and changing.  It is ripe with new life and infinite potential just like our lives.  It took my friends house fire to make me see that I don't have to put my dreams off for years in the future.  Today is the day.  Every day is a new day and we are the infinite potential.  Our spiritual potential is as vast as the ocean and then some.  Blessings

How Guided Are We?

Last week in Washington, D.C. I found my guidance had reached a new level.  It was just 2 days before the University of Montana dancers were to perform at the Kennedy Center.  I had been with my son and watched a sort of emotional edge that he had been running with for a couple of weeks.  I wondered when he would slow down enough to integrate some of his emotions.  As my daughter and I were preparing to leave for breakfast, he called and explained he was extremely ill.  He showed up at our hotel with sunken eyes from dehydration.  His physical symptoms were that of Nora virus.  I was unaware that this looked like a particular virus.  I saw a blown out third chakra.  I lead him through several rounds of EFT and left him to sleep.

My daughter and I headed out on a quest for amazing breakfast food.  As we walked, I could feel my son's sickness inside my body which is typical for healers.  We can easily move into someone else's energy in an attempt to help and take on their illness.  We searched out a couple of breakfast places.  My daughter was enjoying her French pastry filled with spinach and I could feel myself getting sick.  My guides came in loud and clear and said, "it will do absolutely no good for you to get sick - stay in your own energy."  As we finished our breakfast, I decided my son needed minerals.  I wanted to find some concentrated liquid minerals for him.  I scanned all of my healing ideas with my thoughts - homeopathic remedies, herbs, etc. etc.  Clearly my guidance was telling me that he needed minerals and not a homeopathic remedy.  My guides said, "go down the street a couple of blocks and on your right is a health food store where you can get minerals.  Don't go back to the hotel before 11:00.  Let him sleep."

I explained to my daughter that we were going to walk down the street to a health food store and get minerals.  I told her that my guides said there was a health food store down the street a couple of blocks on the right.  After two blocks I didn't see any health food store.  My guides told me to take a right.  We walked about another half a block and I heard, "well we can just walk forever or we could actually just stop and ask someone if there is a health food store around here."  I was confused.  I wondered if my guides were sending me on a wild goose chase and I was even wondering why I was doubting them.  Then I heard, "well you can just keep walking to the end of the block and learn to trust your guidance - or you can stop and ask and continually doubt how guided you are."  At the end of the block I looked across the street and saw a GNC store.  Next thought, "well they don't have homeopathic remedies."  Next thought "well he doesn't need a homeopathic remedy."  I walk into the GNC store and picked up a bottle of liquid minerals.

After leaving the store, I told my daughter we weren't going back to the hotel until 11:00 so we might as well do some shopping.  She looked at me and said, "well this is just wild - your guides tell you go down the street to a health food store and pick up minerals and you just do that." She proceeded to tell me that she didn't consider GNC a health food store.  I kind of chuckled and commented,  "well there was a little argument about a half a block back as to whether we should stop and ask someone or I should just trust what I hear." She looked at me in astonishment as she had heard that entire conversation.  I then realized that she was the one who had popped in with the doubt and thought we should just stop and get directions.  I heard the doubt, thought it was mine and questioned my guides. The conversation was actually between her, me and my guides.  Once a thought exists, it can be instantly accessed.  Sometimes it is hard to figure out who thought the thought first.  She even admitted that she heard, "well - GNC doesn't have homeopathic remedies" and admitted that she heard that he didn't need them.  Neither one of us could figure out who originated that thought.

At 11:00 we watched my son slowly come back to life.  He had set an alarm for 11:00 am.  I watched the points on his chakras round out and by the next day he was on top of the world.  Several other dancers ended up sick and they thought that it was Nora virus.  I laughed with my son about how we have to find the physical cause for an illness and so everyone knows why it happened.  No one can explain why 4 people got sick and the rest of us didn't.  Even when we identify a physical cause, we are not very good at explaining why some people get it and some people don't.  So my son went into the performances at the Kennedy Center completely on top of his game, newly refreshed and focused.  Several days later he flew to Europe.  My daughter joked, "well don't try arguing with Mom's guides."

My first experiences with "the voices" began around 1992.  I am able to converse with many departed who have left the physical world.  I have one guide Mo, who appears as a Tibetan Master and was a personal guide for years.  Another guide calls herself "Asaya."  Most recently I have been working with a "group" what identifies themselves as Thaddeus - translation - gift from God.  I see them as a ball of energy connecting with multiple streams of energy and they don't show any human form like my other 2 guides.  Many times the communication from the non-physical doesn't come in word thoughts.  Often it is just a knowing and an experiencing.  We are guided.  We are constantly supported.  We have access to more information than we know.  Even those who don't think they are guided - are guided.  I continually experience proof that what I hear is accurate.  This time was especially fun because it involved my daughter and how we actually pick up on each others thoughts.

Changing Cumulative Thoughts

Have you ever noticed that you can think and think about something and then eventually it becomes reality? 

The difficulty in changing cumulative thoughts is that once we start thinking a thought, it hooks up with other similar thoughts and we become plugged into a huge thought matrix. We are literally wading through our existing thought world with new thoughts.  In this manner, someone thinking often of suicide hooks into that matrix and it makes it much easier for them to do it. A person believes in healing and hooks into all the people who have healed, are healing and believe that healing is possible.  Our thoughts attract literally.  It is a law of energy that quantum mechanics, epigenetics and psychology are on the edge of trying to prove.  It is what every mystic knows and it is what every master has taught in one version or another.

If we could see our thoughts actually create bubbles of energy and streams of energy and these hook up with huge matrixes of similar thought energy, we might do a little more to choose positive thoughts.  Once we have thought about something long enough, that thought builds energy and momentum.  It is up to us to decide what it is that we want to create.  Beliefs are random.  We choose them and they become real to us and we say - that is how it is. 

Once we have repeated a thought long enough, it becomes cumulative.  Eventually it manifests.  If we don't want the manifestation of our thinking, then we have to actually do something to shift our thoughts.  It might be meditation, reading, prayer or EFT.  We are the makers of our reality.  We can do it in oblivion or we can do it consciously, it doesn't matter.  We get what we think about whether it is positive or negative.  We may as well choose to think about what we like and what we want and visualize our lives in the way we want them to be.

Today - I open to all the good that the Universe can deliver to me.  I stand on the threshold of my life knowing that all is possible.  I open to the creative power of the Universe.  Blessings

Korean War Memorial

It is funny how strangers cross our paths without our even knowing that they will later somehow touch us.  My daughter took this photo at the Korean War Memorial.  It was Memorial Day week end and we just happened to be there as they started a prayer ceremony.  After the ceremony was done I found a spot of shade to look at my maps and see how far we were from several other points of interest.  I regrouped and met up with my daughter and we began to walk away.

It was hot.  It was about 90 degrees and high humidity.  This gentleman that my daughter didn't even realize she had photographed began to walk with us and talk to us.  He started talking about war.  He went into detail with sentences that began with "imagine what it's like."  He went into graphic detail about the horrors of war.  The last thing he said was "It changes your mind.  War changes your mind."  As we gently parted ways, my daughter said, "well I am almost crying."  I looked at her with tears in my eyes and said, "well I am crying." 

We stopped at a park near the Vietnam War Memorial.  We were in the vicinity of thousands and thousands of bikers who were there to ride in Rolling Thunder.  We were surrounded by vets and those honoring the fallen vets who have served our country.  I felt this overwhelming energy of peace.  I asked my guides how I could feel such peace in the middle of all of these war memories.  This is the answer they gave me.  "There is no greater peace force on the planet than what is coming from those who know first hand the experiences of war.  These are the greatest energy creators for a world of peace.  It is not the peace protestors.  It is those who have been in war and get how really awful it is."

Later in the day I visited with my daughter about the different energies of the different ages of war veterans.  I know generalities can never by made as a whole, but the evolution of consciousness can be observed.  The WWII and Korean War Veterans were proud.  They buried their emotions and covered their emotional wounds with pride.  Some say that they didn't get PTSD.  I think it is more like they didn't acknowledge they had it.  Back then life was more about survival than anything else.  The Vietnam Vets came home and to this day many of them still feel angry and rebellious.  The latest generation of war veterans aren't proud.  They don't feel the same mission that was felt by the WWII veterans.  They are the leading edge of healing PTSD for the first time on the planet.  Their attitude is much more like - "I went - I served - how to I get past this shit - let's go camping or hunting and get back to fun."  I mean absolutely no offense to anyone in writing this and I know generalities always have exceptions. 

I was also moved by the history around Abraham Lincoln.  I felt the conflict that he dealt with during the Civil War.  Why did I end up in DC on Memorial Day weekend?  Let me tell you that it wasn't planned.  I left the city altered with a sense of how consciousness moves forward.  I left with new hope and inspiration and fell in love with our capital city.  Can't wait to go back.  Blessings

The Energy of Washington D.C.

I spent a week in our capital city.  There was more to do than I could possibly wade myself through.  We did go to three dance shows at the Kennedy Center and watched the University of Montana in a blowout - awesome - give it your all - performance.  We visited French bakeries and basked along the Potomac River.  We visited the Lincoln Memorial and the Korean War Memorial.  My father in law is a Korean War Vet - so that was a must.  We watched Rolling Thunder for a while and went to the museum of natural history and bathed ourselves in butterfly energy amongst live butterflies.

I would say that all of this was amazing, but was most amazing to me was how guided I was to have miraculous experiences.  It was the most connection that I have ever felt with the flow of the universe.  I really didn't plan.  We would just start our day and see where it lead us.  That kind of open energy with this abundant universe took us into one magical experience after another.  I felt the energy of the great minds that have formed our country and an overwhelming sense of gratitude.  I know how we like to bash our country - blah - blah - blah.  I know how we bash politicians - blah - blah - blah.  I felt the energy of the great visionaries that have formed our great country.  Anchored in that beautiful city is the energy of many, many great minds.  I left completely inspired.

Our plane trip home had terrible connections.  A thirty minute layover in Memphis and a thirty minute layover in Salt Lake.  I basically felt like there was no way in hell we could make those connections.  My daughter made the reservations when I was in the Caribbean and she was a little defensive about the itinerary.  We discussed it and decided to just go with it rather than try and change the flights.  Our flight into Memphis landed 25 minutes early.  Our flight into Salt Lake landed 25 minutes early.  Now I have flown a bit in my life and never had a flight land that far ahead of schedule.  So we had an easy trip home.

My husband was busy tending to my new tomato plants through wind, rain, snow and freezing temperatures while I was gone.  They all survived just fine.

I have been reluctant to share my stories of  visiting our capital city because I don't want to hear other people's negative opinions.  We also visited Arlington Cemetery and the Kennedy graves.  JFK left the planet around my birth and I have always had a tremendous connection with his energy.  It was amazing to be at the foot of his grave.  Blessings

The Shortest Path

I have always thought that I wanted the shortest path.  The truth is that I want the most interesting path.  Life is not about getting from Point A to Point B as fast as we can.  Life is not even about getting to Point B.  Life is just about the journey of the path.  Sometimes we stop at points and say, "ah - I am here - I am graduated - I am liberated - I am home - I am enlightened - I am clear - I have achieved my goal - - - "  and then there will be more.

The Energetic Space of Healing

      In a recent post I said that living in the Space of Miracles requires being open and willing.  The energy field of a healer will often help us shift into an open space if we have just a little willingness.   I flew with one of my daughters to Washington D.C. this week.  She has flown quite a bit and often alone.  She hates it because she gets so motion sick.  On this trip, she forgot her homeopathic remedy that helps.  As soon as she realized that she had forgotten it, she laughed and said, "never mind - I am traveling with my mom."  When her motion sickness kicked in, I showed her how to "feel" for the acupressure point that relieves motion sickness.  She says the bands don't work, the pills don't work and this wasn't working - yada - yada - yada.  I saw her shift the second she actually "felt" the point.  So she did that for a while and it provided some relief until we started to descend for landing.  At that point, she asked me to walk her through the EFT (emotional freedom technique) points.  She knows EFT but just doesn't practice it very often.  EFT is essentially tapping on acupuncture points.  I asked her to make sure her sphenoid was not in torsion.  She sort of glared at me and said, "it's not."  Hahahaha!  My kids are so familiar with craniosacral therapy that they know whether or not their sphenoid is in torsion!  She switched from acupressure to EFT and before we landed her motion sickness was gone.  She looked at me and laughed and said, "wow - I would have had a puke bag in my hand by now."
     Yesterday I am sitting with her after spending the entire day shopping, walking and eating.  Oh my!  We walked along the Potomac River and scouted out Japanese Tea Houses and French bakeries.  As I was sitting with her, I looked at her and I said - "You know - healing isn't hard - it's getting in that space where you actually realize that this can be healed and it's pretty easy."  I spent the rest of the day pondering that and realized that the Energetic Space of Healing is simply the awareness that not only is it possible - it probably isn't that difficult.
     One more note on "swag."  Wow!  There are days when I just feel old!  Two young men stopped my daughter and practically bowed in worship of her dreadlocks.  They proceeded to spin around her and point out that her outfit was perfect also and walked away backwards staring at her and said, "you have swag - man - that is swag - you are swag."  I said, "what is swag?" Blessings